Threats

For some reason these threats cause me to laugh uncontrollably …

“Shut your mouth, or I’ll kick you so hard you’ll be wearing your ass for a hat.”

and

“If you don’t do XXX, I rip your arm off and beat you with the wet end.”

They just make me giggle in the beginning because of their unreasonableness and then laugh out loud because I imagine a cartoon of actualness and the silliness begins to escalate in my head.

The wearing of an ass for a hat has been causing me no end of laughter for weeks now. Whether a human behind or a donkey, it matters not. I just laugh and laugh and laugh.

Most threats have the end result of making me laugh … because there is very little that most people can do to enforce the threat, other than wishful thinking. So I end up laughing. It usually gets me in trouble.